"She can't fit into any of the costumes because she getting fat. Thats what the shot does to a lot of people," Sharon says very bluntly. LaRelle is only 14. She's a baby trapped inside a grown woman's body.It hurts me to think that at 14 she's no longer a virgin. Who would have sex with a 14-year-old that is clearly so lost? "Anyone 14 and older" my mother replies.
I think I'm drawn to LaRelle because I see a younger me in her. She floundering in a whirlpool of pressures to find love, acceptance, and identity. I watch as she comes in every single day in her leaning high heels. Her see through shirts with hot pink zebra printed bras. Her tight pants that show hints of thongs before she bends over. I come to the conclusion that she has no one to show her what's right and wrong. Her older sister is 16 and pregnant. And while I never hear them mention a mother, they tell me that their grandmother is pregnant too. Which is scary in itself, but shows the type of world they live in.
She's a sweet girl at heart. But she's just that: a baby girl. Her maturity level is that of a 14-year-old, but sexually, she is very forward. I've literally seen her make grown men blush. One day, LaRelle comes up to me and boldly proclaims " I asked Mr. Bill if he like you. Ya'll always around each other and talking." I take a minute to think where she could get that from. True, me and the guest illustration artist,Bill, did talk a lot; but only because I introduced him to the program and I was the only person he knew there. Plus, he was just a weird person in general, and the other staff really didn't know how to handle his awkwardness. Nevertheless, what I realized is a little bit of how LaRelle thinks. In her mind, if a man and a woman are friendly with each other (AND THATS ALL IT WAS BECAUSE TRUST ME, WHEN I SAY BILL WAS WEIRD, HE COULD REALLY BE OUT THERE SOMETIMES- PLUS HE WAS LIKE A 42-YEAR OLD WAITER AND EX-DIE HARD JEHOVAH WITNESS- I DIGRESS), then they must like each other and want to be together. Maybe this is why she's on Depro-Vera. In her head if a boy- or man for that matter- show her the slightest bit of attention, then he must be interested. And it was all so simple then: she equates someone showing her attention to someone having feelings for her. And someone having feelings for her maybe means they want to be with her. And if someone wants to be with her, they want to have sex. And sex equals love.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I can't with the babies. Sexuality is being expressed/pursued etc younger and younger and I don't particularly know where it starts and ends. Like I don't even know how to go about addressing these little girls. I swear I'm scared for the future.
ReplyDelete